A complementary short story alongside our 2021 Shorts season - but who is it by?!

All will be revealed on launch day: July 20th (Orders shipped to arrive on this date)



In a world of Elevated Intelligence, where Octopuses are bred as computer-coding slaves, there are three types of people: the ignorant, the complacent and the activists. 

Couch-bum Andy has received a promotion and a wriggling mass of tentacles as his new team. Suddenly, Andy is a bread-winner for six hungry mouths whose intelligence intimidates his own. He’d rather run from this new-found responsibility, than look into their watery pupils directly...


"This is an inspired piece of writing! A wonderfully original concept communicated with crisp descriptions and realistic dialogue. The author shows a commendable eye for detail that, despite the surreal narrative, makes for moments of relatability, too. There are laugh-out-loud moments throughout, managed through Andy’s exchanges with octopuses and humans alike, and insofar as Andy as a central character, I found I quickly warmed to him. The humanity of the man resonates making him an excellent voice to carry a story. A special and eye-catching piece of prose, then, this is certainly a story that will turn heads." - Dr. Charley Barnes




“Stay put!” he said gruffly, but number Six just seemed to wink at him. There was only one thing to do: call his mum. Even at 34, Andy needed her advice. There really was no one better to tell about an octopus invasion.
“… and you asked no questions?” she said, the tone of disappointment weighing heavy on Andy’s shoulders. In truth, he had done some searches on Google, but there had been nothing forthcoming about the details of ‘Elevated Intelligence’, which sounded an awful lot like ‘Artificial Intelligence’, and seeing as that was Andy’s area of expertise…
“No, Mum, I assumed – ”
“When you assume, Andy, you make a fool out of you and me. Honestly, this is just like you. This is exactly what you get when you don’t listen. Have you called the company?”
“Have you called the delivery firm?”
“Andy, have you had your coffee this morning?”
“No, Mum.”
“I’m coming over. Christ, Andy. As if I didn’t have enough on. Stay put!”
Perhaps he was slightly calmer…
Andy eyed the box, counting five bobbing heads. The sixth was… Sliding down the table leg, heading towards his computer.
“Stop!” Andy blurted and number Six flinched, raising its arms beseechingly, to reveal a parrot-like beak. Revolting.

Andy and the Octopuses